Bernie Ecclestone needs to face facts – Formula One is only the second greatest racing spectacle ever invented. Because the greatest – by a long shot – is the Hanna-Barbera kids cartoon Wacky Races.
To hammer this fact home, we’ve brought the two together – comparing real F1 drivers to their (obvious) Wacky Races counterparts.
Lewis Hamilton – Dick Dastardly
Firstly, they both have the best car on the track by far. Secondly, as Dick loves Muttley, so Lewis loves his pet pooch Roscoe. Thirdly, they both take a lot of time over their facial hair.
And finally, there’s a certain streak of petulance in each, and – despite oozing charisma – audiences tend to love to hate them rather than plain love them.
If Lewis also painted fake detour signs to divert his opponents off a nearby cliff, then he and Dick would pretty much be the same person.
Jenson Button – Peter Perfect
Chivalrous, measured, a winning smile. All traits shared by McLaren’s “best” driver Button and Mr Perfect.
But despite their wholesome hero image, both are frankly a little rubbish – Jenson’s finished in the points once this season, and Peter is constantly concertinaing his car into scrap.
Sebastian Vettel – Red Max
One: They both drive red machines. Two: They’re both German. But more importantly, they both overtake other cars like there’s no tomorrow – Max aided by the fact his machine is partially airborne, Seb because he’s just THAT GOOD.
And although they’re demons on the track, both are actually very genial characters in person.
Valtteri Bottas and Felipe Massa – The Gruesome Twosome
Where did Williams even come from? They used to be an also-ran team and now they’re constantly on the podium. We think there’s only one explanation – Creepy Coupe-style “Dragon Power”.
And also we just think Massa looks a little bit like pint-sized vampire Little Gruesome.
Romain Grosjean and Pastor Maldonado – The Slag Brothers
The Lotus pairing are very enthusiastic, but struggle for points in machines that aren’t really keeping the technological pace (although we admit they’re not quite carved from rock).
But the crucial similarity with the Slag Brothers – as displayed at the Spanish Grand Prix this season – was that when they did manage to battle their way into a good position it was a clash between the two teammates that sent them back down the pack.
Contact between the two Lotus drivers as Maldonado passes Grosjean at Turn 3. Ricciardo then gets Grosjean at Turn 5 #F1 #SpanishGP
— F1i (@F1icom) May 10, 2015
Team Marussia – The Ant Hill Mob
Like the Ant Hill Mob, it’s hard to remember the names of any of the Marussia drivers. Plus their cars are so unreliable that at times you almost expect Marussia drivers to stick their legs through the floor of the cockpit and jog their way back to the pit.
Susie Wolff – Penelope Pitstop
Bit obvious, right? But there’s a more substantial comparison between Wacky Races’ southern belle and Williams’ hot-shot development driver than just their shared gender.
Like Susie, Penelope is racing in a man’s world, living in the shadow of her patronising “token” status (at one point Dick Dastardly even tries to distract her with a beauty shop). But more often than not it’s Ms Pitstop who’s across the line first. Put Susie on the proper grid now, we say!
Source: SNAPPA
